Dear Fellow Traveler, Are you wrestling with whether to take legal action to enforce a divorce settlement that your ex-spouse is refusing to honor? Are you caught between the biblical call to trust God for justice and the responsibility to ensure that agreements are upheld? Do you wonder whether taking legal steps is an act of faith or a sign of self-reliance?
If so, you are not alone. Many believers find themselves in this very struggle—trying to balance legal obligations, spiritual convictions, and emotional wounds. You may have thought that by choosing mediation and avoiding litigation, you had reached a peaceful resolution. But now, as your ex-spouse fails to follow through, you are left wondering: • Is it right to go back to court? • Am I being too harsh if I demand enforcement? • Am I failing to trust God by taking legal action? • Or am I letting fear keep me from standing up for what is right?
If You’re Wrestling With Legal Concerns
- Contempt of Court – Your ex-spouse’s failure to follow the divorce settlement constitutes contempt of court. You have legal grounds to enforce what was already agreed upon.
- Enforcement of a Settlement – This is not about negotiating new terms; it’s about ensuring that commitments already made are honored.
- Alimony & Mediation Decisions – You previously chose a peaceful path, but now you may be wondering if that decision left you vulnerable. If You’re Wrestling With Spiritual Questions
- Faith vs. Legal Action – Are you trusting God when you act, or when you refrain from acting? Romans 12:19 says, “Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God.” But enforcing an agreement is not revenge—it is requiring that justice be upheld.
- Fear of Taking Action – Are you hesitating because God is asking you to let go, or because you are afraid of the consequences of taking legal steps?
- Conflicting Biblical Interpretations – Your Bible study group may encourage legal enforcement, while your personal reading of Scripture makes you wonder if you should release the matter. How do you discern the right course? If You’re Wrestling With Emotional and Relational Struggles
- Betrayal & Abandonment – Divorce itself was painful, but now facing a broken agreement may reopen old wounds. Is enforcing the settlement necessary for closure, or does it prolong the conflict?
- Boundaries & Self-Advocacy – Have you spent years prioritizing peace at your own expense? Is this the time to assert your rights and insist on fair treatment?
- Community Influence – Are you torn between your own convictions and the advice of others? Are you seeking clarity from God, or just struggling to filter through competing opinions? Does 1 Corinthians 6:1-8 Apply? A major concern for Christians in legal matters is whether scripture prohibits taking another person to court. 1
Corinthians 6:1-8 instructs believers not to sue one another in secular courts, but that principle applies only if both parties are Christians willing to submit to the authority of the church.
- If your ex-spouse is not a believer or refuses church accountability, 1 Corinthians 6 does not apply, and you are free to enforce the agreement through legal means.
- If they claim to be a believer but refuse to resolve the matter within the church, they are functionally operating outside of Christian accountability. Per Matthew 18:15-17, when a believer refuses to repent, they are to be treated as an unbeliever in matters of justice.
If your ex-spouse was willing to resolve the matter through mediation or church intervention, that would be the biblical course. But if they have refused, they have placed themselves outside the church’s authority, and legal enforcement is not prohibited. Vengeance vs. Accountability: Are You Wrestling With the Difference?
A common fear among believers is whether taking legal action is an act of vengeance rather than accountability. • Vengeance is about retribution—wanting someone to suffer for what they’ve done. • Accountability is about responsibility—ensuring that a person follows through on the obligations they willingly agreed to.
Romans 12:19 warns against personal revenge, but requiring someone to fulfill their legal obligations is not vengeance—it is integrity. Psalm 15:4 praises those “who keep an oath even when it hurts.” Your ex-spouse made a promise. They are now breaking it. Holding them to their word is not about punishing them—it is about upholding justice. Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 warns, “When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it… It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it.”
Fear, Hesitation, and the Question of Faith If you’re hesitating, ask yourself why.
- Are you afraid of the emotional toll of legal action?
- Are you concerned about how others will perceive you?
- Are you struggling with guilt, as if standing up for yourself is selfish? Joshua 1:9 reminds us, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
If enforcing the agreement is the right thing to do, then do not let fear stop you. If God is leading you to release it, that is a separate decision—but fear should never be the determining factor.
Next Steps: If You’re Wrestling With What to Do Next
If you move forward with enforcement, remember:
- Decide with certainty – Ask, If I set fear aside, what is the right thing to do? Once you have an answer, commit to it.
- Consult your legal counsel – Work with an attorney to find the best approach with the least stress.
- Move forward with confidence – Holding someone to their word does not make you unkind, unforgiving, or faithless. It makes you responsible. You have nothing to feel guilty about in seeking enforcement.
This is not vengeance—it is accountability.
Final Encouragement Fellow traveler, you are not alone.
- If you choose to enforce the agreement, trust that God will guide you.
- If you choose to release it, trust that God will provide for you in other ways.
- But do not let fear, guilt, or uncertainty prevent you from making the decision that is right.
I am praying for you—that you will have clarity, confidence, and peace as you move forward. May God bless you with wisdom and strength. You are not wrong for expecting a promise to be honored.
In faith and fellowship,
John Schmidt